and so on

Toothpaste Contains:

Sodium Fluoride: One of the main ingredients in rat poison and toothpaste

Surprisingly, fluoride has NEVER been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Additionally, a 1990 study stated that fluoride has been shown to NOT reduce cavities and scientists are now linking fluoride to dental deformity, arthritis, allergic reactions and about 10,000 unnecessary deaths each year from cancer. (From “Fluoride an equivocal carcinogen. National Cancer Institute)

FD&C Blue Dye # 1 & 2: Are you eating crude oil for breakfast?
Recent studies indicate that FD & C Blue Dyes 1 & 2 can trigger a wide number of behavioral, learning, and health problems. FD&C color dyes may also cause potentially severe allergic reactions, asthma attacks, headaches, nausea, fatigue, nervousness, lack of concentration, and cancer. (From “Formation of carcinogenic aromatic amine from an azo dye by human skin bacteria in vitro” & “Skin discoloration with blue food coloring” )

Triclosan: A pesticide found in many types of toothpaste
While the companies that manufacture products containing triclosan claim that it is safe, the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has registered it as a dangerous pesticide. The EPA gives triclosan high scores both as a human health risk and as an environmental risk.

Hydrated Silica: A whitener that damages tooth enamel

** Popular shampoos contain toxic chemicals linked to nerve damage

Researchers at the National Institutes of Health have found a correlation between an ingredient found in shampoos and nervous system damage. The experiments were conducted with the brain cells of rats and they show that contact with this ingredient called methylisothiazoline , or MIT, causes neurological damage. Methylisothiazoline – a plant-derived preservative Which products contain this chemical compound MIT?

-Head and Shoulders
- Suave Clairol
- Pantene Hair Conditioner
all contain this ingredient.

The chemical causes these effects by preventing communication between neurons. Essentially, it slows the networking of neurons, and since the nervous system and brain function on a system of neural networks, the slowing of this network will suppress and impair the normal function of the brain and nervous system. These finding were presented December 5th at the American Society for Cell Biology annual meeting.

Life as we know it.

Life was not intended for a person to feel haunted by discrepancies of our society. It’s hard to free yourself of that fear, but by finding a passion for something, you allow yourself to escape into a place of enlightenment

Yay for mindless entertainment...

http://img48.exs.cx/img48/7577/1214944_l.gif

randomly surfing around...

I encountered somebodies blog that had something worth commenting on:

Bean said...
"And don't do drugs, don't waste you happiness! Yeah, you'll never be as happy as you once were. The dopamine levels go down and down."

I would have to disagree with this statement 100%. I can give you quite a few expamples where doing drugs have opened my eyes, and led me into a whole new area of consciousness. They allowed me to expand my horizons, and as a result have allowed me to explore things that I wasn't aware of prior.

Not advocating drugs, but I think LSD has been one of the most important guiding forces in my ability to learn who I am and evolve as a person.

Well this made my desktop...

"You're a wonderful, amazing, inspiring, kind, sincere, receptive, beautiful person, Trina, and I have no doubt you'll be able to conquer anything that threatens your spirit. Believe in yourself and refuse to succumb to any negative thinking. Don't be afriad of anything, for you have all the answers already somewhere inside. You also have all the power that you need, to be whoever you wanna be, and do whatever you wanna do. Manifest your own destiny."

What I learnt about me today...

What I need/want in a relationship:

* Affirmation
* Respect
* Appreciation for the things I do above and beyond

Reasons I have such deep insecurity:

* I seem to gave a short memory for affirmation, because my negativity for myself is so strong it pushes it away
* I never understand why people love me, and I guess that is a product of having such poor unsuccessful relationships in the past when the word was used so loosly, as well as my own negative view of myself
* I have a problem with the emptiness of the word love, and unless it is explained/broken down for me the specific reasoning ( I know, analytical to the death ) I cant accept it as anything other than 3 words

Spirituality and religeon

I had a good conversation about this today, and felt the need to make a few notes.

* I think one of my larger vices about organized religeon, and the concept of church is Im really big on discussion and debate, and being able to ask questions and that kind of stuff... going to church is just kind of a visual event that I dont have active participation in, other than being there. You don't have the ability to be an active member, you are more of a mute pupil
* To me spirituality and religeon are two totally different things
* I believe that somebodies self-confidence, and ability to be truly open to the beauty of everything in life, is rooted in their spirituality. That their ability to maintain positivity, even in trying times, to help people when they need help, to put others before themselves. That if you are in touch with your spirituality your ability to evolve as a person is alot easier, because you are remaining open to possibilities and new experiences/thought process/etc
* I think that spirituality and religeon definetly feed off eachother but I dont think they define eachother
* I think that spirituality comes from within - from your love of yourself and of the world surrounding you

And in summary that I feel that Ive just kinda lost track of where I stood on this kinda stuff... and maybe thats why I feel so unbalanced, I dont know

message board jargon:
So haze writes:

Ponder about rage:
"I guess rage is the wrong word... but has anyone else found that sometimes you gradually become more and more jaded? Not at anything in particular but in general... You start to lack trust, and view things as oppressive etc. You are nto Depressed because you are not down per say but things are not having that glimmer or shine that they used to.

You lose contact with some people that you quite enjoyed their company in the past and don't really have much to say to them; you can chalk it up to "growing apart" or what have you but how come? More importantly for all the above ailments what do you do? For those with a snyde comment no this is not an "e come down" this is a logical almost 9am on a thursday morning ponder... any ideas anyone?

- ë"

Random extremely negative guy writes:

"Buck 65 said live:
the older I get,
the more sense life seems to make
and the less I care

I, on the other hand, become more disgusted by the actions of man every day. The more I learn about the Vietnam war, the Spanish Inquisition, Salem Witch trials, rape, torture, weapons, whatever, the more I hate the idiots that came up with all of them. Comparing the few redeeming characteristics of humanity, those little joys and experiences we all live for, to the out and out plague we wrath upon the earth, there is something seriously flawed about us. We are a virus with shoes. F*ck humans. I can't wait for us to we die but I hope we leave something of a planet for the insects to inherit. Regardless, if you aren't filled with rage at the notion of humanity, you live in a bubble. Let rage inspire you to action. Don't just stew, let loose and tell the world how pissed you are. Flower power didn't work. So what? Try something else. Make the f*ckers listen! RAGE!!!"

I respond:
"Regardless of the fact that we have to work and pay the bills and life is hard, yadda yadda yadda... I think that the reason why people are becoming more cynical, is because they are losing sight of the things they are passionate about and chasing them.
It's too convienient for people to become complacent, to stop seeking the things that make them really happy. We stop spending time with ourselves, really examining why we do the things we do, or asking ourselves if we are making sure that we are being good to ourselves. It seems that the older we get, the more reasons we find to stop seeking information to help us grow and evolve into a better person. We get stuck in our "jobs", and stuck seeking meaningless possessions, while losing more and more of ourselves every day.
Everybody has different things that they are passionate about, and I imagine most people on this site have a good handle on their passion of music, but we need to make sure we are challenging ourselves and pushing ourselves to a higher level, as well.
I, personally, wasted 3 and a half years at my "career job" until one day I realized I had totally lost sight of what made me happy, and the goals I had for myself. I quit, bought myself a camera ( on credit, with no money to pay for it, and no job lined up ) and promptly enrolled in photography school. It wasn't the most logical sequence of events but it made me SOOOO happy to actually do something for me, and shun all the everyday worries about money and all that crap.
And lastly ( sorry this is so long ) I think that we as people don't connect nearly enough as we should with others around us. We don't mentally stimulate ourselves enough with intelligent conversation. This is an extremely generic statement, I know some people are very involved in heavy debate, but I feel that people seem to be very close-minded about alot of subjects, and it restricts their ability to broaden their horizons. I am wrong about things on a regular basis, and I wold continue to be wrong if I didn't have strong-minded people around me to challenge me on my views, and question my beliefs.

I always feel like I am ranting when I write about stuff like this, but it's just my POV, as I feel I have gotten stuck in ruts several times in my life, and will continue to do so I'm sure.

Bean

Ohh....
"We are a virus with shoes"
"Let rage inspire you with action"

Martin Luther King Jr said it best:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... the chain reactions of evil-hate begetting hate, war producing more wars - must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation

Every voice counts, and the last thing we need is another beacon of negativity."

Random negative guy:

"MLK was also shot and killed on a hotel balcony. His greatest lesson was civil disobediance and that's what needs to happen more often. Get some extreme civil disobediance going, to the max! Flower Power didn't work. Let's give rage a chance! Rage for change!!!
Regardless, we are a virus with shoes. That's not being negative or hateful. We are. Every other animal on this planet learns to live in equilibrium with its surrounding. Humans, however, move to an area and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and then we spread to another (Agent Smith was right). This is the same behavioral pattern of only one other organism here: viruses. And we will continue to be a virus until we shut down the capitalist gang-bang and stop having so gawd-damn many kids. You're all breeding like it's the last f*ck of the century. Adopt!
It's a fine idea that "all you need is love" stuff but all the love in the world won't get G. Dubya out of power. It's time to get more constructive.
Writing me off as a beacon of negativity is to ignore my obvious penchant for hope. I wouldn't call for change if I didn't think we could at least f*ck with some people. The way we live must stop NOW!!! {My views on utopia can be found in other threads}"

I summarize:

"^ I fail to see where I mentioned "all you need is love", and I didnt write you off. As I have never met you, all I know of you is that everything I read from your username is extremely negative, and I have yet to see any "hope" from it.
I ( personally ) would rather be known as somebody with strong moral convictions, who fought for what she believed in, and was shot because of it, than somebody who complained about everything bad in the world and never did anything about it."

And Dan jumps in:

"The attitude of raging against everything seems fine and dandy, but in the end, you are simply defining yourself by what you are against. This position of pessimism, cynicism, and negativity (and that's exactly what it is), is going to drag you towards to inevitabilities, if you aren't there already:
A superiority complex
and
Depression
I've done the rage thing, I've defined myself but what pisses me off and it can be fun, and releasing energy in such a way can be quite a rush, but it's not sustainable. There's no balance. Let's say everyone you meet decides to adopt your mode of thought. We all rise up, smash the things that oppress us, and we win. The revolutuion is a success. Then what, well I'm afraid we'll have spent so much time fighting the things we hate, that we won't know where to go from there. We've all got utopian visions, but that won't help us when it was rage that got us there, instead of love. By standing FOR someting instead of AGAINST something, you start to produce positive change. It's a step by step process, with no specific finsh line. Progressing towards a utopia, but with improvement as the goal, not utopia. That way, we can live life and enjoy it in the meantime. If there was a revolution, would you be able to make the shift afterwards towards enjoying life, or would you be so morphed by your own thoughts, that you wouldn't be able to accept victory. Unable to make the shift into positive living, you'd simply go off looking something new to fight. Be the change you want to see in the world....

I'm all for revolution too, but in the meantime, I'm living the way I want to live and trying to affect everyone around me in a positive way...."

random interjection:

"@Beanie nah, he's not just negative, he tells it like it is.

both points are valid, yours is, take your convictions and stick to them.

his is, wake everyone up so they start doing the same.. or maybe I am wrong?

btw, surprised to see your a she, i had no idea!"

And the point I was attempting to make:

"And I see what you're saying, but the summary of it all is that if you are telling it like it is, "waking people up" but not doing anything yourself to make a difference, you are simply a hypocrite."

Better late than never

On Martin Luther King Jr day I wanted to post my favorite quote, but I didnt notice the note I had left to myself. Alas, here it is:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hat cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... the chain reactions of evil-hate begetting hate, war producing more wars - must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation

Such powerful words, that so many people have never even read.

food for thought...

** This is some factual information, and alot of my opinion. It may read as preachy but it's just how I feel, so if you disagree please pipe up and let me know how you feel ***

So I was given some interesting information last night. Did you know the statistic is that 90% of society is dealing with/battling some form of depression? And most people never do anything about it, and end up having those emotions/feelings ruling their day to day existance?
( side note, for the love of Pete dont think "medication" is going to fix anything, it's all within "

so some food for thought:

- According to a recent Finnish study, patients being treated for major depressive disorder - more than half of whom were taking anti-depressants meds - responded better if they had higher levels of vitamin B. A recent study in the American Journal of Psychiatry also notes that populations with low intakes of omega-3 fatty acids ( heart health oils found in seafood ) have higher rates of bi-polar disorder
- A study from Duke University in Durham, NC found that depression returned in only nine percent of people who excersized 90 minutes a week, and 38 percent relapse rates in those who did not. Regular activity can help improve anxierty and depression.
So get off you asses and go out and do something active. Walk to your destination, go for a jog, go for a hike if you're surrounded by amazing mountains ( like anywhere in BC )
- Positive relationships and spirituality are together the "ultimate anti-depressant". Solving relationships issues and connecting with people can be important steps toward recovering from depression.
SO stop bottling up your emotions, and actually confide in somebody you trust that you know will support you. At the end of the day we are all creatires of habit, and if you insist on keeping all your thoughts inside all your life, you are never going to evolve past the point you are at now. I think evolution of ones person is a massive part of growth, so take a positive step in the right direction.
- While the powers of prayer have not been scientifically proven, spirituality seems to improve depression-related coping skills and encourage a more complete remission. Dr. Ravindran says: "what appears to be effective or not the religeous rituals themselves but rather spiritual attitudes". Spirituality can ve as simple as believing in a higher purpose or expressing ones faith in daily affirmations, meditation, or prayer.
I would never preach any religeon to anybody, for all I care you can pray to your cat if it makes you feel better, but being connected with some level of spirituality is essential to living a fulfilling existance. You can obtain this by something also physically stimulating as Yoga, or walking by yourself, but I feel to really stay connected with yourself you need to have priority time for yourself, so you can reflect on the important stuff.


Im sure there are many more points I could address but I think this will suffice, for now :)

humph.

*sigh*
so much to bitch about, so little time.
Im going back to laying on the floor now.
ta

silently screaming.

Full-on rant

I am so fucking sick of the only thing I see in the papers, and hear on the radio, is all of the "tsunami relief" efforts. That all of a sudden every large organization, and government body is realizing how much everybody over there needs the help of the rest of the world, and everybody and their celebrity dog wanting to get their name all over some kind of donation campaign.
What about the devestation that has been happening in Africa for the last umpteen years? What about the millions of people dying across the world because of things like not having the most basic foods, or medicine? Things that people take for granted every day of their lives, because it's just in their cupboard if they need it. I could give you 25 different examples here of issues that are just as deserving at a piece of "relief effort", but it's just too infurriating.

I hope everybody gets a big happy hard-on that they have done something to help out in ONE instance of tragedy across the world. I dont mean to say that the people in Thailand and India aren't completly deserving of the help they are recieving from the world because the situation is absololoutly devestating, I just think it's completly appauling that people will chalk their helping out in this situation as their good deed of the year, and go back to ignorance thinking that life is good.

Thats right, turn your heads and pretend like it's not happening because it's not right in front of your face. Baboons. On a side note, do you have ANY idea how corrupt the government is that we are feeding this massive amount of cash to? Yeah, of course you dont.

Nar nar bean

I have met and been inspired by the most intelligent and unique soul I have ever encountered. It's a pretty powerful voice that can intruige you from across a room without even uttering a sound, and an extremely intense feeling.

Follow your instinct, and your heart, because you dont know where it's going to guide you, and what you might gain from the experience.

In an attempt at a positive note...

I had some really bizaare dreams last night, which resulted in a strange state when I woke up. As I dragged my ass around the house getting ready, I put on my big headphones and put Lorin on. Music really does shift my focus onto a more positive note.
I felt connected to peoples energies on the bus. This one girl in particular. I don't know what it was, but she was kind of drifting in her own land at the same time, and it felt like we were in the exact same state of mind. I don't even know how to put my experience into words, but it felt good and really neat.

end transmission

Gah

I feel like I am sinking. I am battling my desires to call and cry to somebody I know will listen, but wont care. I am battling this huge brick wall with my emotional issues, and communicating them. And I have this sickning feeling that when I get home from work the last few things that are his will have been taken away, and that I'll never see him again.

Barf.

Sometimes you meet some incredible people in life

I think this is the coolest thing anybody has ever said to me, and I didnt want to embarass them but I just had to put it in here:

"walking through the desert called society, I often see mirages, mirages of hope, mirages of substance. eventaully you learn to stop getting stoked every time you see water.
Trina, you're an oasis
And you're full of life-sustaining essence, and the green of palm trees is reflected in your pools of positive energy. If you feel yourself evaporating, take heart, the cycle will once again be renewed"

interesting

Some lessons you just never seem to learn, and even at the end the day you are still totally prepared to drop everything you have already learnt and revert back to old habits. Why? Because they are comfortable, even if only temporarily.

I'm in an extremely painful place right now. And although I had tried to prepare myself for it, I of course, didn't do very well at all. I mean, come on, are we ever REALLY prepared for our heart to feel like it's cracking into even more pieces? But thats neither here nor there at the moment. I've managed extremely well to have somebody (anybody) online in the last 36 hours to keep my mind away from my immediate problem. A fairly emotional, pressing problem. I wasn't talking to these people ABOUT said problem, just keeping my mind busy enough so I couldn't think about it myself.
And then, hows that for karma, after everything is said and done with this problem, TADA nobody online whatsoever. Haha it's perfect. To follow his 36 hours of total silence, I am plunged into mine.
So the major circular dilema has dropped itself right in front of me. I can call him. I know he'll be there for me in his way, the same way that dropped me like nothing back when, but I know he'll be there for me right now. It's sick, and it's totally twisted. Why of all people would I want to turn to him in my time of need? I know he'll just invite me to come to Colorado, and me in my stupid pathetic little puppy dog way would buy a plane ticket. BARF!! BARF BARF BARF!!

I am ALWAYS there for him when he needs me, no matter what. But as much as I feel that he would be there right now, he wouldn't. Because his own selfish needs always take precidence, and I'm just known as the girl that has a big soft spot for him. He knows no matter what he can rely on me, so do I take some kind of weird pride in this, to make me want to call him? I'm fully just talking to myself here, but I cant understand it. Why would I turn to somebody who has treated me so poorly, time and time again? And really, it's much more than treated me poorly. It's a much deeper, painful reminder of the kind of attention I illicit.

Ok, end rant.

I went for a walk. I found a big park in the middle of nowhere, and laid down in the snow and started at the stars. I cried. I screamed some Tool lyrics. I pondered, and I told myself my ass was getting soaked and I needed to get up before I started to shake.

Everything is circular

Well this has been clarified already. While searching for some quotes I found some points worth sharing.

A few months ago I was asked to summarize the four most important things I believed in:

* I can teach you
* You can teach me
* Music feeds the soul
* Love is worth it

And in other related news, if somebody knows how to use this hello software to actually post my picture here, I could use some guidance. Thanks

end transmission

and *action*

In an attempt to respond to somebodies entry, it has forced me to create my own profile. As everything happens for a reason, I take it that I am supposed to have a new outlet for my thoughts.

end transmission