a victim of war and roadkill kitty :P

stoked... a hitchhock themed halloween party, the night I move. I feel inspired.... to go as kitty roadkill :P

Starting a new chapter

Tomorrow morning moving day commences, and I turn another page in my book...
It feels very strange, packing up a whole place full of possessions all by myself... and I have to admit that I cried about that more than once.. but it wasn't always a bad cry. More often it wasn't

So back to the packing. Whoop.

Your Birthdate: November 6

A birthday on the 6th of the month adds a tone of responsibility, helpfulness, and understanding to your natural inclinations. Those born on the sixth are more apt to be open and honest with everyone, and more caring about family and friends, too. This is a number associated with responsibility and caring - this birthday lends a degree of concern for others.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Stoked for this one!

http://vancouver.santacon.ca/

Ideas, anyone?

My birthday is pending.
Last year for my birthday lorin Bassnectar was in town, and that was badfuckingass. Nothing equally exciting this year, however.... what is a girl to do....?


New glasses/hair picture pending

New Glarssses

So I seem to have lost my old ones. Boo.
And I need new ones. EEK
I hate shopping alone for something as important as glarsses, but I simply can't go another day without them.
Wish me luck!

my new ink

I miss him like crazy
Miss the way he smells, his kiss, and his cute little nose

Life is working it's way back into the little groove I had going. I'm not going into details, but this is sooo crazy to me.... I feel compelled to share it. I've been having problems trying to watch Garden State. The first try it was a burned copy and it was flawed, so after about 30 minutes the dvd cut off. I then rented it from the video store ( right in the midst of allll my frustration ) and my dvd player fucked up. I have managed to get it to play in short intervals of about 20 minutes or so before it would cut out, and today - I finally saw the ending.
And it's so applicable. The part when she says" "yeah that's life, and sometimes it hurts really fucking bad - but it's all we've got. This is it."
I have been wallowing in my own misery for about two weeks and today I felt like I really came back out on top of it all. And I watch this movie. And it gives me some perspective so I'm not such a reclusive the next time around because I can just remember that.

Interesting, huh?

it means you have an overactive imagination and need to calm down.

SIMMAH WOMAN!

and it continues...

I am in awe of how much bad shit has been happening to me lately.

This morning I had a patient call me around 10am asking for an appointment. It has been over 6 months since we have seen him, so I advised him he had to have his doctors office re-reffer him via telephone. This kind of thing happens all the time - it's because we're a specialist office and if the refferal isnt sent the doctor doesn't get paid. The patient flipped out. Advised me he has been a patient of my dr's for 15 years and he has always made his own appointments, etc etc. I've been dealing with this for over a year so it's a speech that I am very comfortable with making, it's very customer service, and I let them know all they have to do is make the same call to their family dr's office.
He swore and yelled at me. I advised him I wouldn't carry a conversation with him when he was behaving like that and hung up. He called back for the better part of half an hour calling me names and volitile things before he finally game up.

He just showed up at the office demanding to speak with the doctor. My boss is at the hospital and not going to be available at the front office all day. He freaked out me right from the get-go about how he doesn't understand how somebody as stupid as I am could hold a job, etc etc. I asked him to leave and he refused. He said: "well you better call the fxcking cops, because I sure as shit am not leaving here". It scared the crap out of me. I had to call the ladies down the hall to come help me... he gave them a very interesting ( his own ) rendition of what happened this morning ( along with such interesting highlights as my telling him "I dont give a shit if you have a heart condition or not, I'm sure ah hell not giving you an appointment" ) as well as calling me about 20 more names before the other two ladies took the same stance I did and asked him to leave. The last thing I got to hear was how he was sure as hell going to get my job taken from me, yadda yadda.

Obviously this old codger isn't going to effect my employment, but just the fact this whole scenario went down on top of all the extremely emotional things that happened to me on the weekend.... I'm back in tears again. I'm just SO frustrated.

Wicked.

adversity breeds creativity

This is going to be my new ink, folks.

annnnd just for fun...

and it continues....

I love it when misery perpetuates itself.

I'm not what I appear to be.
I'm told I come off strong, confident, happy.
The majority of the time I am the latter, but the first two waiver quite a bit from time to time.
When I have bad things happen in my life I shell up inside myself, and need to take the space to deal with my own problems. This might not be the right way, but it's my way and it's the way I've learnt to deal with my emotions. And I need to deal with it my way.

I get really anxious when people start trying to get into my head un-invited. If I'm not talking about something to you please do not take it as a slight to you - it's just the way that I deal.
Please do not inferr this to mean that you have done something wrong, I am upset with you, or that this has anything to do with you at all.
Because it doesn't. This is me dealing something I've never had to deal with before. I'm struggling though it and I think I'm doing alright with it - but I'm not emotionally capable of easing your mind about things between you and I constantly.

So I'm at a loss. Do I avoid you until I get my head worked out so as to not cause tension between us? Would that not cause more tension?
I certainly can't handle another what happened last night. That kind of situation freaks me out, and makes me very apprehensive.
So yeah. Floundering.

Well.....

Today has been the most fucked up and horrid day I've seen in maaaany moons.
I managed to alienate my boyfriend to the point of where neither of us wanted to talk to eachother, annoy my boss at work, rp out many hairs from stress about an ailing family member, didn't sleep at all, AND THEN.... on a skate to ease my tension level... my cell phone somehow jumps out of my pocket and disappears into the ether. GONE! What the fuckity fuck fuck!?

It was the perfect ending to a horrid fucked up day. I'm soooo agro.